STOP THE PRETENDING: HERE ARE MY "TOP 10 TV BABES"

By JOHN YOUNGREN

For nearly six years, I wrote TV columns for the Standard-Examiner in Ogden, Utah and the Salt Lake Tribune (in Salt Lake City, obviously) and would struggle to come up with euphemisms like "effervescent" or "appealing" when I really meant"hot" or "sexy as hell" to describe female television stars like Helen Hunt or Teri Hatcher.
It was part of the gig. I could hint at thinking some of these women were attractive, but I had to be politically correct enough to not offend anyone with such gusto. It was like saying I read Playboy, but only for the articles. I watched "Lois & Clark," but only for the storylines, production values and fine acting.
Right.
But now I can toss all that out the door. "Pop Stew" is my little Web Site; I can do what I want. I'm not sure if you'll be offended or not, but I hope you’ll take this in the good-natured spirit intended, for -- yes -- it is my current list of "Top 10 TV Babes."
See if any of them surprise you. Also, keep in mind that I’ll end each notation with some kind of pithy, semi-sexy-sounding double entendre that may or may not really mean anything.
1. Sarah Michelle Gellar, Buffy on "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer." Yes, "Buffy" is a great show -- brilliant concept, terrific writing, bright young actors. But whom am I trying to kid? "Buffy" shines because of "Buffy" herself: Gellar is a kickass blonde (at least most of the time) who stands about 5-foot-2 and keeps a pretty out-there concept together.
Sarah can stake my heart anytime. And stake it again and again, if she likes.
2. Jennifer Aniston, Rachel on "Friends." Practically in my Hall of Fame, along with Catwoman (as played by Julie Newmar) and Erin Gray (Col. Wilma Deering on "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.") Aniston's Rachel is the girl next door -- if you happen to live in a village of Victoria’s Secret models. Forget her hairstyles or fashions. Aniston is always smart, sexy and approachable. Only one hitch: What does she see in that Brad Pitt guy?)
Yeah, Jennifer can be my "Friend" any day.
3. Jennifer Garner, Sydney on "Alias." The list’s new entry, with a bullet. Garner makes a thoroughly unbelievable character -- superhero spy Sydney Bristow -- thoroughly believable, through her sultry mix of intelligence, sensitivity and athleticism. (Actually, in real life, she probably wouldn't make such a great spy --for no matter what disguise she's wearing or mission she's working, Syd attracts attention.)
So where do I sign-up for Syd’s next undercover mission?
4. Katie Holmes, Joey on "Dawson's Creek." This is the one that could get me arrested; though I doubt I'd be spending the night in the cell alone. Holmes plays what's literally the girl next door with such an endearing, I'm-not-as-pretty as-you-think-I-am quality that she simply blows you away with that shy smile and those big brown eyes. She is the only reason I still watch "Dawson's Creek."
Hell, she is the only reason I ever watched "Dawson's Creek."
5. Jill Hennessy, Jordan on "Crossing Jordan." "Law & Order" has never been the same for me since Hennessy left, so it's been fun to watch her front her own show -- however outlandish it is -- this season. As a character, Jordan's a rule-breaking, rebel-with-a-cause medical examiner, the Quincy of your dreams. As an actress, based on everything I've read, Hennessy lives up to her surname: She's not afraid to throw a few back, has a mouth like a truck driver and calls everyone "Dude."
When do you want to do drinks, Jill?
6. Lauren Graham, Lorelai on "Gilmore Girls." There are two principal characters on "Gilmore Girls" -- the 36-year-old mother (Graham) and the 17-year old daughter, Rory (played by Alexis Bledel). While some of my other picks in this "Top 10" category might lean toward the high school daughter’s age (Buffy, Joey), I'm here to admit I'm a Graham man, through and through. Lorelai is smart, funny, quick, beautiful and far and away the coolest mother on TV.
Single parent? I’d change that in a hurry!
7. Julie Bowen, Carol on "Ed." For two years, Tom Cavanagh’s character of Ed has been doing this typical TV-driven "will they or won't they?" dance with Bowen's Carol Vessey, the girl he had a crush on in high school and the woman he came back to his hometown hoping to hook up with. But Bowen is so gorgeous, vulnerable and intelligent, she makes it hard to believe anyone would consider the "won't they?" option, even on TV. Get with it, Ed. You're the inspiration for all of us who never achieved our high school crushes. (Yeah, I had one – Tracey Moore, you know who you are.)
Carol can clap my erasers, anytime.
8. Maura Tierney, Abby on "ER." I first fell for Maura when she was the best part of "NewsRadio," where she was smart, sexy and beautiful as hell. But then she moved to "ER," where her Abby is the cornerstone of all those gritty, semi- believable, it-ain't-pretty plotlines. You know what? She's still smart, sexy and beautiful as hell.
Get me Nurse Abby! Stat!
9. Gillian Anderson, Scully on "The X-Files." She's stuck on a shitty show this season, but it’s not her fault. She's also every computer nerd's Dreamboat Annie, but that's not her deal, either. Anderson has grown Scully – once something of a nerd herself, back in the day -- into one of the strongest, most valiant, most intelligent female TV characters in the medium’s history, forever the ace in the hole with "The X-Files."
Scully, I’m a nutty alien -- take me away!
10. Lara Flynn Boyle, Helen on "The Practice." A tough choice, because Boyle is often so starched and stuck-up in her Assistant DA persona that it's hard to see past her tight hair bun and prosecutorial tactics. But I'm not fooled – I think she seems like a fun chick. Just witness her off-and-on relationship with 87-year-old Jack Nicholson in real life: Boyle gives hope to balding, overweight, sports-obsessed, hard-drinking men everywhere.
I’m guilty, Ms. Gamble. Lock me up!
That’s it. My "Top 10 TV Babes."
Looking for your "Top 10 TV Men?"
Look somewhere else.

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