NEW DVD SETS PROVE THE POINT: EARLY "MASH" THE BEST, EVER

By JOHN YOUNGREN
I was home sick one day this week and spent too much time between phone calls from the office watching interminable episodes of "M*A*S*H" on the fX cable network.
Much to my amazement, I happened upon -- by sheer coincidence -- three straight late-period episodes I generally despise, including the one in which Hawkeye and B.J. rush to transplant a man's aorta (a.k.a., the one with the clock in the corner); the one in which everyone has crazy nightmares influenced by the war and the one in which Hawkeye and B.J. wander around the camp telling the same asinine joke about a man doing bird imitations (which has the bonus subplot of Father Mulcahy trying to write a song about the Korean War).
If you know the show, you know the episodes. That's one of the things about "M*A*S*H:" Because of its many years in syndication and the general popularity of the show, you can generally sum up an episode in one or two plot points and people will immediately remember.
For better or worse.
For me, on this morning, these episodes were for worse. It was as if someone at fX was personally programming episodes to torment me, so consistently were they turning to scripts from the series' last couple of years, when for some reason everyone is acting so over-the-top it's like they're suddenly performing a stage play instead of a one-camera filmed sitcom (which maybe makes sense, as it's apparent they're doing most of their episodes on a stage, with about four extras).
So, if I can't stand those later years, how is that a couple of months ago, I decided upon my No. 1 television show of all time, and I rated the seminal sitcom "M*A*S*H" at the top of my list?
Simple, really. In my mind, "M*A*S*H" has always been two different shows: The clever, subversive anti-war comedy of its first five years (which is my No. 1); the sappy, overwrought melodrama of its second (which isn't).
And the seemingly contradictory notion is only strengthened after watching a couple of seasons of "M*A*S*H" on DVD (Twentieth Century Fox, approximately $30 per season, the second of which was released last week). They prove my point. So that's why I think "M*A*S*H" (and from now on, I'll do away with these asterisks, so I can type at something approaching my normal speed) is the best there ever was.
And again, that reputation is basically built on the first 3-5 seasons of the show, when Trapper John and Henry Blake were still around and Hawkeye still had an edge and before Alan Alda went crazy and wrote and directed every episode with a cliched, self-conscious approach that sometimes bordered on the nauseating.
Let's put it this way: I'll eagerly buy the first three seasons of "MASH" on DVD. I'll think about 4-5. I don't want to own any of the later years (I have fX for that).
Indeed, "MASH" was the archetype of the show that wasn't appreciated when it was at its best, far overrated when it was at its worst. (There are many ways to know the episode is going to be a shitty latter-year edition up front. One relatively overlooked one is Klinger's appearance: Is it the graying, 57-year-old Jamie Farr playing the company clerk?)
Those first few seasons of "MASH" (horribly underrated until it joined "All In The Family" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" on Saturday nights, the great Must-See CBS TV lineup of the mid-70s) is like taking a class in television writing. With a cast that would embody their roles and a versatile, war-is-hijinks format, the first few years of "MASH" are so well crafted it's stupefying.
Instead of the rat-a-tat-tat pace of sitcoms in our modern world, "MASH" is written in a much more believable, less punch-liney style. Hawkeye Pierce, in his earliest incarnations, is believable because he's a clever, tortured, articulate guy. Period. He's not Will or Grace or some other one-note current TV sitcom character.
Hawkeye doesn't so much tell jokes as he reacts to the people around him. He just says funny things. And his brilliance is shining but not beyond life; it's possible you've known a Hawkeye somewhere in your own experience.
Much like I did with dreams and aortas above, you can do the same thing with so many of the early episodes and draw generally positive memories from people. Remember the one when they made up Captain Tuttle? The one in which a lack of supplies forces everyone to bunk together? The one in which everyone gets the flu but Hawkeye? The first time we met Col. Flagg? The one with 5o'clock Charlie? The ones in which Hawkeye writes his Dad? The one in which Hawkeye and Trapper make deals around the camp to replace Hawkeye's worn-out boot?
Even all these years later, these episodes hold, given their pure comic bent and literate pedigree.
Indeed, if there is anything unsettling about watching these early episodes, it's that the show sometimes seemed a bit unsure of what tone it was going after -- some of the early "MASH" plots play like knockoffs of old "Hogan's Heroes" scripts, only Frank Burns and "Hot Lips" Houlihan take the places of Col. Klink and Sgt. Schultz.
And too many of those early episodes did have a relatively predictable pace -- some unforeseen force had come to rally against our wacky war surgeons and they proved their worth beyond the insanity by brilliantly saving lives. It was a "MASH" plot device that would last for each of the show's 11 years on the air, with varying degrees of effectiveness.
But the purity of the show's first couple of seasons makes up for any faults -- and is what makes these DVD sets so enjoyable. Plus, there are extra scenes and punchlines added, cut for syndication commercials years ago and added to the DVD collections. (For those of us whose memories of the show are honed by permanent rerun, given its many years and many lives in syndication, it can be strange when the lines and scenes we have many times memorized are jarred by an extra beat or long-forgotten scene.)
Together, it all adds up. The first few seasons of "MASH" make it my No. 1 show of all time, even if I have did have to put up with crappy Winchester episodes three straight times one sick day.
[POP STEW RATINGS: "MASH," DVD Season 1 = 3-1/2 carrots. "MASH," DVD Season 2 = 4 carrots. Overall "MASH" on fX = 3 carrots.]

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