A POP STEW POTPOURII: PARSLEY, SAGE, ROSEMARY AND THYME

By JOHN YOUNGREN

So we're (finally) whipping up a new "Pop Stew" … just add a sprinkle of this, a pinch of that:
--If Shania Twain's new album is as cool as her four-carrot new video ("I'm Gonna Get You Good"), she's got another hit on her hands.
--Shania's talking about releasing a rock mix of her country album too (it will be a double CD), so we know she's not screwing around.
--"Live From New York," a new hardcover oral history of the nearly 30 years of "Saturday Night Live" (Little, Brown & Company, $25.95) is a four-carrot affair, featuring interviews with nearly all the living key players from the show's history. Two afterthoughts: You'll leave not liking Chevy Chase as much because no one else did. And you'll remember that the Eddie Murphy era was bit overrated, as is Eddie Murphy (read a few more of my recent book musings, down below).
--Best album of the summer gone by? The Counting Crows' "Hard Candy." Four carrots.
--Fun DVD? The newly released widescreen edition of "Scooby Doo." Three carrots, especially if you use the actors' commentary portion of the DVD features to watch the movie by.
--Are people using the special features of DVDs, like actor/director commentaries? I engage them all the time. Does that make me the strange one?
--Regis and Kelly are cute. Especially Kelly.
--I'm worried Faith Hill is relying too much on image. Her new video is sexy and stuff, but her new album ("Cry") is a snooze. Two carrots.
--I'm going to make every effort to get into Fox's "24" this season. That Kiefer Sutherland is just dreamy.
--Second-best album of the summer gone by, in my book? Sheryl Crow's "C'Mon, C'Mon" (four carrots). If she's smart, she'd stop promoting "Steve McQueen," (the album's overplayed second single) and move on to "Abilene" or "Diamond Road."
--Best single song of the summer? Either Bruce Springsteen's "Lonesome Day" from his over-hyped "The Rising" or the Dixie Chicks' "Long Time Gone" from their new "Home." The songs are gems; the albums, a bit inconsistent. 3-1/2 carrots apiece.
--How is still on the air?, Part I: "Survivor" Who the hell really cares anymore?
--David Caruso and Kim Delaney don't have the va-va-va-voom I was hoping for when they teamed them up in "CSI: Miami." I give the show 3 carrots, mainly because of Caruso's brooding delivery. Delaney isn't well served here at all.
--Maybe it's because I'm a latecomer to the whole "CSI" formula -- but aren't these shows just a bit predictable? First 10 minutes, the crime. Next 40 minutes, whiz-bang science most people don't know exists extracts a fiber of ass hair from someone's jacket. Last 10 minutes, ass hair matches the killer. Uh, isn't it a little harder than that?
--If Andy Sipowicz (Dennis Franz on "NYPD Blue") was investigating the Elizabeth Smart case in Utah, it'd already have been solved. Andy would have just beaten up Richard Ricci (now dead anyway) in the interrogation room and we'd have all the answers, and the little girl.
--My mother's mornings: She watches "The View" on ABC at 11 a.m. But if she misses it, she makes sure to catch it the next day on A&E at 10 a.m. Meaning, she can watch yesterday's show before today's forever. (Isn't this kind of like looking at yourself in a mirror in a mirror in a mirror?)
--Guilty pleasure: Kenny Chesney's "The Good Stuff." Watch the video, no way you won't tear up.
--Everyone laughed at "Maxim" magazine when it launched. But, in the past couple of months, both "Rolling Stone" and "Playboy" (two venerable mainstays) have hired top "Maxim" editors to, uh, maximize their rags.
--Elvis Presley's "30 #1 Hits" is a 4-carrot must-have CD, but it does make you realize how much crap Elvis produced, even if people bought enough of it to make it No. 1: "Hard Headed Woman," "Wooden Heart," "Good Luck Charm," huh? I guess it had to be this way. Elvis' "17 #1 Hits That Anyone Liked" just doesn't have the same ring as a CD title.
--In my six-CD car stereo shuffle right now: The aforementioned newish albums by Elvis, Counting Crows, Sheryl Crow and Dixie Chicks. Rounding out the lineup are two surprises: SheDaisy's "Knock On The Sky" and -- wait for it -- the official soundtrack album of "Once More, With Feeling" the special musical episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" from last season.
--Buffy's the one I'm listening to the most. Four carrots. As if.
--I love Joe Buck. And I mean this in a purely non-sexual, he's-one-helluva-sportscaster kind of way.
--How is it still on the air?, Part II: "Dawson's Creek." In this year's turn of events, Pacey, who struggled to get through high school and isn't interested in attending college, is studying to become a stockbroker, a la Charlie Sheen in "Wall Street." Pacey is 19.
--Oh, and for those of you who've lost track but might be wondering: Dawson and Joey did screw, but broke up again right afterward. Good thing I'm still watching, huh?
--Is it just me, or has that sweet Christine Aguilera turned into a bit of a whore?
--My three best personal Halloween costumes, ever: "Batman" when I was 3, "Batman" when I was 7 and "Batman" when I was 24. The "Devil" year was also good, but I was too drunk to appreciate it.
--Is the California vs. California World Series over? Maybe the other 49 states can wake up now.
--Poor Harry Smith. Somehow, they talked him back into co-hosting "The Early Show" on CBS with about 52 other people. Harry had the job in the '90s, and was part of the show's best team, with Paula Zahn. But CBS cleaned them out a few years ago, and Harry had what seemed to be a pretty nice gig, hosting "Biography" on A&E. Now's he's back getting up early in the mornings. Harry, I hope they paid you a shitload.
--Best commercial, right now? Sprint. The wife told the husband to bring home "a movie -- something old." What did hubby pick up? "A monkey with a cold." That damn cellular static.
--Grimace acts the hell out of that commercial with Donald Trump.
--Speaking of monkeys, and maybe we're beyond this point, but it'd sure be nice if the Anaheim Angels' "Rally Monkeys" remain a kind of grassroots phenomenon, instead of a full-fledged marketing effort. Somehow, I doubt this will be the case. (It turned out I was right: A check of the Angels' official website found blue Rally Monkeys, World Series T-shirt and all, on sale for the low, low price of $24.95).
--Hemorrhoid surgery is easier to bounce back from than hernia surgery, and believe me I know. Hemorrhoid surgery is no freakin' picnic, by the way.
--How is it still on the air?, Part III: "Frasier." It's been a decade since it debuted. Each individual episode feels like a decade (or more) in duration now.
--Great website to visit: televisionwithoutpity.com. Takes a while to get into, but well worth it for TV buffs.
--The five best '80s bands to sing and play air guitar by: 1) Boston. 2) Journey. 3) Fleetwood Mac. 4) Foreigner. 5) Styx.
--Pat Summerall got screwed. Summerall was forced to retire from Fox's No. 1 team, so he and John Madden called it a career. Madden jumped over to ABC, where he's meshed well with Al Michaels on "Monday Night Football." Summerall, meanwhile, got a call a few weeks later from Fox -- looking for a bench announcer to handle some regional Dallas Cowboys action. So there's Pat, evidently still competent enough to work games, just not the big ones.
--Pleasant new surprises, TV-wise: NBC's "Hidden Hills," WB's "Birds of Prey." I'm trying to think of more, I really am.
--Unpleasant new shows, and not going to get any better, it appears: Fox's "Girls Club" (David E. Kelley has lost the fastball), Fox's "Fastlane," (dumber than it looks -- and it looks dumb), ABC's "MDs" (I knew), NBC's "American Dreams" (too much reliance on the "American Bandstand" gimmick).
--Staggering, staggering, staggering: Besides "Frasier," it's tougher and tougher to watch increasingly desperate shows like "ER," "The Practice," "Boston Public," "Just Shoot Me" and "Charmed."
--Returning favorites off to good starts: "Alias," "Buffy" (seriously -- no bias), "Will & Grace," "Gilmore Girls," "Angel," "NYPD Blue," "Friends," "The West Wing" and "Ed."

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I WANT MY DVDS: These full-season TV DVDs are too good to be true. Let me share a little about some of my recent acquisitions with you.
--"Friends," the complete second season (about $60). Many of the episodes really do include footage you've never seen before (snappy jokes to end scenes, or other throwaway gags that didn't make the final cut), which makes them fun. There is also commentary on an episode or two (including great insight on the Ross Rachel relationship, which dominated the series at the time) by series executive producers Marta Kauffman, David Crane and Kevin S. Bright.
Yes, the "Friends" backlash had started by midway through this second year, when they did that one-hour Super Bowl edition with Julia Roberts and Jean Claude Van Damme, but Season 2 also featured a few seminal episodes of the series, including "The One with the Prom Video" and "The One Where Ross Finds Out." My rating? Four carrots.
--"M*A*S*H," the complete second season (about $40). This was the year when the war series really began to hit its stride -- the three-disc set includes favorites like "Five O'Clock Charlie," "Carry On, Hawkeye" (in which everyone but Hawkeye gets the flu) "Deal Me Out" (about the weekly poker game) and "For Want of a Boot" (Hawkeye's). It's classic stuff. Yes, four carrots.
--"Sex & The City," the complete third season (about $40). Watching the HBO sitcom on DVD is a pleasure because of the real turn the series took in year 3, with Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie cheating on her new boyfriend, Aidan, with the infamous Mr. Big. This was the year in which "Sex" was willing to prove its characters had depth to go with style, and plotlines were more realistically driven. Audio commentary by "Sex" producer Michael Patrick King is particularly enlightening. Another four carrots.
--"Buffy the Vampire Slayer," the complete second season (about $60). This year of "Buffy" on DVD is a keeper, as many fans of the series (including this one) think Season 2 might have been the show's best of all time. Sarah Michelle Gellar had found her look and pace, and most of the rest of the cast and storylines had evolved in as well, developing a mythos that continues to influence the series to this day. "What's My Line?" parts one and two,
"Surprise," "Innocence," "Passion" and the season finale two-parter "Becoming" rank among the series' best episodes, ever. And you bet, four carrots. Plus.

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ON THE BOOKSHELF: -- From my just-finished pile:
--"The Catsitters," by James Wolcott (Perennial, paperback, $12.95). Well-written romantic fluff. Three carrots.
--"The Lovely Bones," by Alice Sebold (Little, Brown & Company, $21.95). Extremely provocative, sentimental and timely. Four carrots.
--"Martha Inc.," by Christopher Byron (John Wiley & Sons, Inc., $27.95). Came out just before Martha's stock troubles began. Makes you hate her even more. She should fry. Three carrots.
--"KISS and Make-Up," by Gene Simmons (Crown Publishers, $25.95, now in paperback at about $15). The KISS legend babbles about the history of the group and his own sexual prowess (he's no Wilt Chamberlain, but …). Surprisingly entertaining, despite its subject and author. Three carrots.
--"Bite Me: An Unofficial Guide to the World of Buffy the Vampire Slayer" by Nikki Stafford (ECW Press, $17.95). A new, six-year episode guide with a fresh perspective and insights, as well as new information, even for diehards. Four carrots.
--"Old Gods Almost Dead," by Stephen Davis (Broadway Books, $27.50). The 40-year history of the Rolling Stones. You'll leave not liking Mick Jagger as much. But Keith? Keith's a fucking God. Still, this one gets a little drowsy here and there, even for fans. Two carrots.

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Put it all on simmer and you've got "Pop Stew!" Get it? OK, that’s it for this time. Tune in again soon for another exciting edition of the one and only, award-winning "Pop Stew!" Or, direct your comments to johnyoungren@earthlink.net