A MIDSUMMER’S NIGHT DREAM: CIGARS AND CHARDONNAY
By JOHN YOUNGREN
POP STEW RATINGS: Meridian 2004 Chardonnay: •••-/12
Baccarat Cigar: •••
Nightly Summer Experience: Priceless
"Overlooking the city
Summer sun hasn’t cooled yet
I work through my memories
Find everything I’d be
In a fresh cigar
And a glass of Chardonnay
"Cigars and Chardonnay
Wish I could find my way
My life seems as if it’s on pause
And I don’t even care be-cause
Of cigars and Chardonnay"
–“Cigars & Chardonnay” by John Youngren
SALT LAKE CITY – Here on my deck – at Arlington Place near the University of Utah – for nearly 10 years now, I find my summer solace in a glass (or more) of Chardonnay and a big ol’ smoke, most recently the Baccarat cigar.
The view is incredible, for from my white plastic lawn chair (one of six I’ve either inherited or bought a time long ago and far away) I can see everything along the Salt Lake valley, from soaking in fireworks at Franklin Covey Field to watching the KUTV Sky 2 helicopter flying around downtown. Or both. Or neither.
I can also see the Walker Center sign, flashing its neon blue, and the top of the Trolley Square water tower and the lights beaming from Rice-Eccles Stadium at the University of Utah, just a few blocks to my left.
For a decade now, I’ve soaked it all in, especially this time of year. The hottest summer nights are, in a way, the most enjoyable. The sun dips behind the mountains and the city lights go on and there I am with my fresh cigar and glass of Chardonnay. And, when the temperature dips to a chilly 95 degrees, I'm in my element.
For most of the past 10 years, this has been where it has all come together: It’s not so much about me getting drunk or swilling wine. And, God forbid, it’s not really about the cigar. No, it’s about the experience – just me, the cigar and the wine, working together along with the music on my CDs or CD mixes or now, my iPOD (Cigar Playlist available in three versions; just e-mail me), taking it all in and thinking about it all the same.
From a corporate standpoint, this is where some of my best ideas have come from. I've made up headlines and campaigns, seating charts and management teams. It’s here that I first had the pains that would lead to my second kidney stone, And it’s here that, to this day, I’ve let my tense shoulders drop and my second breath kick in and assessed the sites and sounds of Salt Lake City while dreaming about my next witticism, management plan or blog entry.
Yeah, I’m a busy guy with a life on high.
The Baccarat cigars are now an established institution. I’ve tried others; they never compare. I buy the biggest, longest, fattest but lightest ones – just $3.65 each at Jeannie’s Smoke Shop in downtown SLC – and enjoy the relatively mild taste, big ash and slow burn.
The Meridian is another must. Oh, make no mistake – I’ve done Arlington's deck with various beers and vodka tonics. Even Zima. But when it comes to wine, there’s something about the sweet rosy taste of a cold glass of Meridian that perfectly complements the place and the pace, painkillers optional. I’ve shared a glass or two of this experience over the years – it's been a while, I'll admit – and I’m not sure I’ve got my better personal health interests at the top of my list when it comes to the vices I’m enjoying, but the fresh cigars and Chardonnay go down one way or another.
So, what else? I normally take a late-night shower after my smoking affair, to rid my skin and what’s left of my hair of the remnant smoke and choke of that Baccarat. And it’s not unheard of for me to tear up or feel overly joyful, sentimental or even reminiscent as a particular song or piece of music finds its way to the top of the iPOD – in fact, the current, very scientific mix I’ve put together allows for the ebbs and flows, stops and starts of my favorite music and emotions, given the songs that are speaking to me.
I try to get done and inside by the start of the “Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS, or else I’ll be going too long – and risking too much of a hung-over next day – on the deck, cigar and Chardonnay in hand. And while this isn’t something I do every night during the summer, it is a very seasonal affair; once the colder fall weather arrives (and the new TV season begins) I have traditionally withdrawn from the deck with the exception of Super Bowl smoke-offs or early March birthday ponderings.
No, most of what I think about and do out there as I examine the Salt Lake City skyline – the neon lights and flying crafts and distant noises and nearby sirens – is end up coming up with thoughts and stuff I don’t really know how to use elsewhere. Like song lyrics, which seem to tumble in and out of my Chardonnay-addled mind, often in tune (and time) with actual songs I’m hearing on my iPOD “Cigar” mix.
For example (remember, lyrics are not necessarily autobiographical and are written for dramatic and comic effect):
“Living in Slow Motion”
(Lyrics by me, John Youngren. Sung to the tune of “Living in Fast Forward” by Kenny Chesney)
"The body’s a temple, they say it’s true
I’ve treated this one like an old microbrew
Greasy cheeseburgers and cheap chardonnay
One day they’ll get me – there’s just no other way
"‘Cause I’m living in slow motion
The big city ad man caught in a rut
I’m living in slow motion
I need to move on or go nuts
"I’m always greeting
Some client meeting
Punching the clock like I care
But the way I’ve been goin’
It’s time that I folded
And got out before I swear
"‘Cause I’m living in slow motion
The big city ad man caught in a rut
I’m living in slow motion
I need to move on or go nuts
"My friends all grew up, they settled down
Some even LDSed in the old part of town
They go to church, play with their kids
And wink at each other ‘bout the dumb things I did
"Oh yeah ...
"‘Cause I’m living in slow motion
The big city ad man caught in a rut
I’m living in slow motion
I need to move on or go nuts
"‘Cause I’m living in slow motion
The big city ad man caught in a rut
I’m living in slow motion
I need to move on or go nuts
"Yeah, it seems like it’s all going slow
Yeah, I’ve got to get out of this rut."
Like that? Sure you do, God and Karoake willing. So what else do I think of between cigars and Chardonnay?
How about another deck rumination set to country music?
“I Hate PR”
(Again, my lyrics. Sung to the tune of “I Love This Bar” by Toby Keith. Other above disclaimers apply.)
"We got lackeys, we got losers
Sad sycophants and schmoozers
And we got dummies, we got whiners
We've got on-your-tab diners
"And when we call there's no doubt what we're looking for--
"Hmm, hmm, hmm, I hate PR
"We got washouts, we got sellouts,
Stupid burned-out fools full of lots of doubt
And we got idiots, we got morons
It's hard to maintain decorum
"And if it's a pitch there's no doubt what I'm asking for…
"Hmm, hmm, hmm, I hate PR
"I hate PR
Just the whole damn game
Pitching another dumb story
Makes me feel kind of lame
Let's get the car, head somewhere far
Hmm, hmm, hmm, I hate PR
"I've seen low IQs
Don't know what to do
Should have seen the a.m. anchor
So many empty suits
With the darker roots
I've seen fake flunkies and skinflints
"And they like to think we care when they just make par
"Hmm, hmm, hmm, I hate PR
"I hate to meet
Don't much like the boss
And it's true I've got a client or two
I'd like to tell just get lost
"'Cause I hate PR
Just the whole damn game
Pitching another dumb story
Makes me feel kind of lame
It's gone too far
Off to the bar
"Hmm, hmm, hmm, I hate PR
Hmm, hmm, hmm, I hate PR
Hmm, hmm, hmm, I hate PR"
And that’s about it, in one night on the deck.
With a fresh cigar and a glass of Chardonnay.
It may not be much. But what did you do Thursday night? On your patio?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
# # #
John Youngren promises to reinvigorate his “John Youngren Dot Com” blog (also known as “Pop Stew”) more regularly now that the rest of the world has caught on to these goddamn things. To contact John, e-mail johnyoungren@mac.com
