MEMORIES OF SEPT. 11: WHAT A LONG STRANGE YEAR IT'S BEEN
By JOHN YOUNGREN
"Where were you when the world stopped turning, on that September day?"
--Alan Jackson
A year later, to the day, I go back to notes I wrote to myself that evening, Sept. 11, 2001:
"The images were so surreal, I could only stare in wonderment, sickness and shock. From the moment the 'Today' show began airing, live Mountain Time at 7 a.m., the disturbing fires at the top of the World Trade Center were compelling. But the events of the next 90 minutes were like no other I've ever seen in my life.
"Even now, 16 hours after I first watched the first two hours of 'Today,' I am sickened and shocked by the events of the day.
"First, the burning World Trade Center towers. Then, Matt Lauer calling the shot -- and the 'Today' studio crew literally and audibly gasping -- as another plane, a 747 or 757 or whatever, sliced through the second tower. With 'Today' ram-rodding witnesses and reports live, the Pentagon was hit. Then, the first World Trade Center tower collapsed. Then, the second.
"I was sick and unable to move. I finally got to work a bit after 9, shaken. All of my colleagues were gathered in our conference room, watching the news. We were all comparing notes, stories, horrors, fears, tries at black humor. Katie and Matt and Tom Brokaw took us through things. When would it all end?
"The whole day was so strange; like nothing I've ever seen. Today was the first I've ever spent essentially in front of the television for hours at a time, only taking a call or two along the way. I watched buildings I've long admired and noted (being born in and attached to New York) toppled. And all those thousands of people killed."
* * *
Though I watched the Challenger explode on videotape (within minutes of the actual event) and I was acutely aware of President Reagan getting shot during his first term, the events of Sept. 11 a year ago (particularly those planes crashing into the World Trade Center) were the first time in my life I can ever remember staring at something so traumatizing live, unfolding before my eyes, on my good old television. I was viewing it all from the safety of my own home, but I was scared
shitless.
For around ten years, I've awakened every morning to the "Today" show; my TV goes off like an alarm clock at 7 a.m. Normally, I sleep through the first 45 minutes or so, with one ear cocked toward the screen for the news of the day.
But on this morning, I jolted early, and I remember so clearly watching that second plane slam into that second tower, and then watching live as the Pentagon was stormed, then the plane crashed in Pennsylvania, then the towers collapsed, blow by blow by blow.
With the passage of a year and so many reams of perspective, it's at least comprehensible these days to put things in sequence, if not order. I know the backstory; I know the human stories.
But on that morning, it was so rapid fire, so unlike anything I'd ever seen before. I've watched the gunshots ring into JFK's motorcade so many times over the years; I've seen the footage where Bobby Kennedy gets shot. But this was live and unyielding, narrated by Matt and Katie (with whom I've shared many mornings, many interviews, and many events, both large and small), as strangely distant as it was in-my-face immediate, as foreign as it was familiar.
For the next week, truly spooked, I'd stay up all night, watching the
coverage, talking to friends and family. Little did I know that Sept. 11, 2001
would begin a year of horrible health problems for my mother, ongoing
difficulties for my family, particular twists and turns that continue to haunt
us, 12 months later.
Where was I when the world stopped turning, that September day?
Right here, you know. Same bedroom, same TV.
Watching in fear. Holding my breath.
And praying it was all somehow just pretend.
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