Friday, December 18, 2009

WHAT’S BEHIND THE SONGS – FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO GOT THE 2009 CHRISTMAS CD

(For those of you who didn’t, but want it, send me an e-mail at johnyoungren@mac.com)


By JOHN YOUNGREN

Like I’ve said before, I used to do all this explaining in the CD’s packaging. I used to try to keep the songs a “secret” and explain their mystery meanings within the packet (and, after going through the 409 songs of the past 17 years, I did run into several that were just so obvious they made even me laugh).

For the rest of you, I guess I owe it to explain why I presented the songs that I did on this year’s John Youngren’s Christmas 2009 CD, which will be officially appearing within the next few days. Sometimes, the reasons are just musical or whimsical. Sometimes, one sound leads to another. Sometimes, I guess, they do sort of “mean” something. In this case:

1. “The Christmas Song” by Hootie & The Blowfish. This was the hardest track this year. I had Taylor Swift singing “Santa Baby” in this slot on all eight of the previous tryout mixes. I couldn’t get past using her twice. A friend, Greg Simos, wanted to hear some Darius Rucker on the mix. He meant using Darius alone, in his current guise as a country artist. But I saw a chance to use Darius as Hootie and get the Christmas song – in this case, literally – out of the way. Bingo bango.

2. “Rock & Roll Music,” by The Beatles. This was their cover song of Chuck Berry’s track, and always a great choice to get a party going – mainly because John Lennon’s vocal is so playful. I’ve used this song to lead-off a couple of personal mixes over the years and actually had to research (I need a Christmas CD intern) whether I’ve ever used it before on the Christmas Disc. But, no. So it set the pattern here.

3. “(Oh) Pretty Woman,” by Van Halen. A Roy Orbison cover, and kind of an old tune, so what’s it doing batting No. 3 in my lineup? First of all, the riff is spectacular. Second, the song rocks. I needed something to kick the CD off in a moving pattern. I tried to find ANY song released in 2009 that would do the same thing. Nothing did. Music these days is so screwy.

4. “Black Or White,” by Michael Jackson. This song has literally been heard and considered for Christmas CD fame for the past 10 years. Every year, I tossed it off or cut it for something else. I always loved the opening riff and the overall message. This year, Michael Jackson died. I can’t claim to be a huge fan of his in the moment with his songs, but when they started doing all that retrospective stuff, I knew I had to honor the “King of Pop” with a track or two (more to come) because when it came down to it, I loved his work.

5. “Photograph” by Def Leppard. Well, I would never use this song because it was the theme of one of my would-be successors for studentbody vice president in 1983. So for years, “Photograph” was on my “no” list – until Taylor Swift did her CMT “Crossroads” with Def Leppard. And she had the gold party dress and hot boots. Song on.

6. “Kick It Out,” by Heart. Stunning – I had never used Heart, ever before, though they’d been in the mix – so to speak – nearly every year. And this song is short, time-wise. Finally, it makes the cut.

7. “Never Going Back Again” by Fleetwood Mac. I’ve pretty much stripped “Rumors” bare, but surprisingly this is one song I had never used before. I liked it because – along with No. 8, to follow – they kind of bring the first phase of the 2009 mix to a close as we transition into some newer stuff.

8. “You’re So Vain” by Matthew Sweet and Susanna Hoffs. I’ve used cover songs from this duo for the past 2-3 years now, and this year they came out with a new compilation. It’s funny, because I chose “You’re So Vain” somewhat randomly but then really grew into it as I listened to the lyrics again while making earlier drafts of the CD mix. I think they do a great job with it, and it made me want to go back and appreciate the Carly Simon original.

9. “Southern Voice” by Tim McGraw. There was a lot of country I liked this year, but a lot of it tended to be by the same 3-4 artists, mostly women. I couldn’t spend too much time on the CD with Carrie, Miranda, Taylor and Miley (or my grown-up friends would never let me hear the end of it), so I had to make some tough choices and involve some of the guys. “Southern Voice” came late in the year and turned into a favorite – McGraw handles it well and I enjoy all the references.

10. “God Love Her,” by Toby Keith. Some of my issues, I describe just above. This time, Toby’s song gets me mainly on the strength of its video – a clever little ode to a hot girl, a bad boy and a forbidden relationship. I’m a sucker for that stuff.

11. “Out Last Night,” by Kenny Chesney. Kind of closing our mid-disc country sing-along. I saw Kenny live this year, which was always a pre-qualifier, and this song was a hit when he was here. I like the lyric, “I’m a doctor, a lawyer, a Senator’s son – Brad Pitt’s brother and a band on the run…” Plus, I’ve had a few too many nights like this.

12. “American Girl,” by Taylor Swift. Ms. Swift’s name and songs bounced up and down the mix tryout list this year – and yes, I actually saw her live as well, in early summer at Energy Solutions Arena, with 12,000 teenage (or younger) girls and their moms. She does a fabulous show. Funny, I ended up choosing a song she didn’t actually do in her show – a cover of Tom Petty’s “American Girl.” I’ve used Petty covers – even of this song – before. Just a fun, fresh sound. I’m like that.

13. “Glory Days,” by Bruce Springsteen. This song has been around for more than 25 years, and honestly feels like a song I would have had all over mixes before, but my research said “never.” Finally, I use it – maybe because I’m old enough to finally feel it, rather than just sing it.

14. “Wheel In The Sky,” by Journey. This was a late addition, and replaced one of those songs by one of those country chicks when the back half of the CD mix was just kind of listing. Probably would have left well enough alone before determining kind of at the last minute that another shot of ‘80s would never do anyone wrong and turned to the Journey playbook, always a winner. It helped that a further association came from the fact that I narrated a slide show at Olympus High in the early ‘80s for which we used this music as the theme.

15. “Perfectly Still,” by Gin Blossoms. I used to call songs by these guys the perfect CD “link” songs, and I still think that way. So again, a late call from the bench – and a little research into what Gin Blossoms I’ve used before – led to “Perfectly Still,” a bouncy little number that rights a drifting ship with a little boost of ‘90s (counter-balancing the pinch of ‘80s that is Journey) and taking us into the final phase of the 2009 Christmas mix.

16. “Hi, Hi, Hi,” by Paul McCartney. A particular favorite of mine from the early ‘70s-era McCartney, this is literally a song I have had stuck in my head for 30 years and one that has for whatever reason never made a CD mix.

17. “Smooth Criminal,” by Michael Jackson. Mac leads to Jack – just like in the “Say, Say, Say” video. I pretty much knew all along I’d use two Michael Jackson songs this year. But I didn’t want to go the overused “Thriller” or “Billie Jean” route. “Smooth Criminal,” to me, always is a bit overlooked – even with its clever lyrical conceit and one of the best Jackson videos of all time.

18. “Cowboy Casanova,” by Carrie Underwood. Sometimes, a song just fits well and feels right. There is no other link to be made between Michael Jackson and Carrie Underwood than the shuffling transition between the end of “Smooth Criminal” and the start of “Cowboy Casanova.” I couldn’t have planned it better myself, though it seems like I did.

19. “Me And Your Cigarettes,” by Miranda Lambert. Ms. Lambert is one of my favorite country singer-songwriters, and this track comes from her still-new CD, “Revolution.” As I’m wont to do, I was wearing the CD out by replaying track No. 3, “Dead Flowers,” It was only after slipping on the “replay” button a few times and hearing the clever bounce and lyrics of the considerably lesser known track No. 4, “Me And Your Cigarettes” that I decided the more obscure track would make the Christmas CD.

20. “Cigarettes,” by The Wreckers. This is what replaced Darius Rucker on this year’s CD mainly because I wanted a sort of bluesy tone as it winds out. The title similarity between this and “Me And Your Cigarettes” is not lost on me, but wasn’t on purpose either. Both songs were long on the consideration list and just sort of ended up together.

21. “I’m A Loser” by The Beatles. The second Beatles song on the CD is also – trivia note factoid – the only time I’ve ever knowingly used the same song by the same artist twice in the 17-year history of the Christmas mix. You have to go back 17 years to find it, but on the first-ever Youngren Christmas mix (in those days, on cassette tape), “I’m A Loser” was prominently featured. It’s long been a favorite. Again, I was looking for a bluesy closer. And “although I laugh and I act like a clown … beneath this mask I am wearing a frown…” just seems to be a lyric I can identify with these days.

22. “Welcome To The Future” by Brad Paisley. Well, as I wrote in the liner notes for this year’s disc, I generally like to end on a wistful note. “We’ve completed our journey through the disc together,” is what I’m saying. No better song emerged this year for that purpose than this track from Mr. Paisley, with its messages of encouragement and wonder, progress and change. Please try to get past the country twang and give it a listen, if you haven’t already. “Wherever we we’re going, well we’re here.” Welcome to the future – and to the end of the Christmas mix – indeed.


# # #

ON THE DOT: Now back in business (with a modified rating system) the “John Youngren Dot Com” blog (once known as “Pop Stew”) should be updated regularly. And remember, as always, this is just an exhibition; it is not a competition – so please, no wagering. To contact John, e-mail johnyoungren@mac.com

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

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JACKSON, FAWCETT DEATHS PUT IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE: CELEBRITIES WHO EARNED IT, THE HARD WAY

By JOHN YOUNGREN


Given her recent condition, I was not surprised – but was nonetheless saddened – by the death of Farrah Fawcett today. She’s long been a favorite – from the “Angels in Chains” prison episode to the iconic poster; the red swimsuit edition on every boy’s wall in the 1970s.

I was one of those boys. Farrah Fawcett was my first celebrity crush, and certainly the first “pin-up” celebrity poster I ever hung over my bed, back when I was in fifth or sixth grade and “Charlie’s Angels” was TV’s hottest show.

I was remembering that Farrah fact with my friend and co-worker Kelli Fratto, who’s about a decade younger than I. “Farrah was my first pin-up poster,” I said. And Kelli answered, “Michael Jackson was mine. Isn’t that funny?”

And about six hours later, Michael Jackson was dead, too. Totally unexpectedly.

Random? Bizarre? Sure. It’s no stretch to say that both Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson were pure American icons; pop cultural images emblazoned in our memory forever. In this day and age of Facebook and Twitter, of YouTube and “American Idol,” of Jon and Kate and Susan Boyle and others who take the stage for a few seconds and become “celebrities,” Farrah and Jacko were celebrities the old-fashioned way. They earned it.

During tonight’s live coverage, it’s Jackson who’s getting most of the attention – for if Fawcett’s tragic bout with cancer made her passing somewhat predictable, Jackson’s sudden heart attack at the age of 50 made his death from-the-blue shocking.

Comparing Jackson’s death to the sudden news of Elvis dying, or John Lennon’s death, is not unreasonable. His later problems – and all those pedophile jokes people were making were tasteless, bastards – might have consumed the last 10-15 years of his life, but at his peak Jackson had the world of pop culture rolled up in his hand, so dynamic, charismatic and talented was he as a performer and musician.

I can still remember the day in 1983 – I was in high school – when Olympus High was buzzing. Jackson had performed on some TV special the night before; this was in the days before cable saturation and Internet access and pop culture penetration. A “Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever” special had been on TV. And Jackson had performed – live – and unveiled, for the first time ever, his infamous “moonwalk.”

And we couldn’t talk about it enough the next day. Just before “Thriller,” during the “Off The Wall” period, Jackson was ready to bust big-time. But here we were, electrified, guys (including myself) trying to do the moonwalk dance themselves, girls laughing and swooning over what we’d all seen.

Early MTV was all Michael Jackson. As a child of the MTV generation, I can still remember watching him team-up with Paul McCartney in “Say Say Say” or his amazing dance moves in “Beat It” or the epic that was “Thriller,” which MTV played ad infinitum, all 42 minutes of it (or whatever) in its official version.

Jackson defined a sound and approach for a generation; not since Elvis or the Beatles had anyone been so influential on a musical basis. But he went beyond that, too. He smashed generations – my grandfather knew who he was, as would my children, if I had any. His music is as vibrant and fresh today as the day he recorded it. His influence has been linked to the racial acceptance of Tiger Woods or Barack Obama.

He was also the kind of celebrity that evolved from childhood and never let up; the Jackson 5 provided the soundtrack for much of the ‘70s, and Michael was always at the forefront. Just listen to hits like “ABC” and you can hear the pure joy and exquisite, sophisticated vocals.

I don’t have more memories of Michael than Farrah, seriously, from that original poster to DVDs of “Angels” and her Playboy issues, all of which I’ve always held onto.

I can still remember the day – I was in sixth grade, I believe; it was for sure 1976 – when “Angels” first premiered, long before DVR, or even VHS. We were at some kind of crazy overnight camping trip; the whole sixth grade class. And every guy in our class was lamenting the fact that we were missing the series premiere of “Charlie’s Angels.” Kate Jackson? Cute. Jaclyn Smith? Beautiful.

But we all wanted Farrah. She was the original girl next door. Goddamned good-looking girl next door, yes, but she was ours. Who didn’t want to play a little tennis with Jill Munroe?

Two celebrities dying on the same day has happened before. Two so iconic, maybe never. Much will come out over the next few days about each that might change my opinion. But right now, tonight, I keep thinking about Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett on all those posters and lunch boxes, creating joy for so many girls and boys of all ages, of any age. They were celebrities who earned it. They started young, endured the years, made good moves and bad (Farrah on “Letterman;” MJ on that weird "20/20") and aged before us. They were enduring. Until today.

Icons.

So tonight, I just feel old.



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ON THE DOT: Now back in business (with a modified rating system) the “John Youngren Dot Com” blog (once known as “Pop Stew”) should be updated regularly. And remember, as always, this is just an exhibition; it is not a competition – so please, no wagering. To contact John, e-mail johnyoungren@mac.com

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

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TWEENS, TWEETS, TAYLOR: SUPERSTAR SWIFT WOWS HER CONSTITUENTS AT ESA

Taylor Swift at Energy Solutions Arena, Salt Lake City
May 26, 2009


THE DOTTED LINE: ••••

By JOHN YOUNGREN

SALT LAKE CITY – I’ve probably seen 30-40 concerts at the Energy Solutions Arena (formerly the Delta Center) over the years. I saw Springsteen turn in one for the pantheon, I saw Garth Brooks at his peak, The Who past their prime and the Stones in only their second modern-era concert in Salt Lake.

I’ve seen Billy and Elton, Tim and Faith, Dave Matthews Band and the Dixie Chicks, Hootie & The Blowfish and Jimmy Buffett.

Seldom have I seen such a symbiotic blend of performer and audience as I saw last night, when 19-year-old country music superstar Taylor Swift dazzled some 14,000 tween and teen girls, not a small amount of their mothers, a few dads and, of course, me. Hey, I like the chick. Her songwriting skills and preternatural showmanship amaze me (literally) and – as I saw on display, somewhat up close and surprisingly personal – she can already mesmerize for more than two hours and some 17 songs.

What will she be like when she turns 21?

Swift doesn’t have the vocal pipes of a Faith Hill (her role model) or Carrie Underwood (with whom she’s frequently compared). I know – I’ve seen them both in concert, too. But what she does have that they don’t have – and this is the surprise, again given her relative youth – is a knack for pure theatrics; indeed, her two-hour show was full of pomp and circumstance, pushing every button and delivering on every promise she made to her adoring audience. While her vocals can get a bit thin and lost in the mix – and it’s always hard to be fair about that, given ESA’s shitty acoustics – it didn’t much matter on Tuesday. She just kept teeing them up and knocking them out, whirling through costume and set changes and exhibiting a pop-friendly, sing-along sound – nevertheless a lot more urgent and electric in person than it sometimes comes across on the recorded versions of some of her twangy, yearning singles.

And needless to say, from her poppy opener (current single “You Belong With Me”) to a few of her early favorites – including “Our Song” and a frenzied “Picture To Burn” – she had the crowd on their feet and in literal harmony; Swift writes or co-writes all of her songs and her fans seem to know her every word, as they demonstrated throughout the evening.

She’s also naturally adept at connecting with her audience (maybe because most of them are five or six years younger than she). In a show highlight, Taylor appeared by surprise and out of the dark in a high section of the lower bowl bleachers to perform “Hey, Stephen” the clever and surprisingly bouncy scorned-woman song (and my suggested next single) off her new album, “Fearless.” Mid-song, she traveled down one long aisle of the ESA seats, hugging, touching and squeezing any fan she could get close to. That led to another, similar, highlight – her acoustic rendition of her first single “Tim McGraw” (“which I hope you’ll help me sing every word of because this is really the first thing you ever heard from me”), which started near the back of the arena but then finished up (after another huggy trek through the fans) with Swift back on the main stage and the ESA fans shrieking in an extended, unified pulsating roar – a heartstopping moment that seemed to choke up even the seasoned-beyond-her-years star.

All those woman-scorned songs she writes (the boys who hurt her feelings, or break up with her, or simply don’t notice her to begin with) somewhat pile on; it will be interesting to watch as Swift grows and her topic-matter begins to expand beyond getting taken for granted in science class. For now, though, that led to some of the show’s most electric moments – her “Should’ve Said No” encore, in which she’s ultimately drenched in water from above (reprising a popular country awards show performance of hers from a year or two ago); her emotional rendition of the current hit “White Horse” (all those tenderhearted tweens in the arena seemed equally wistful while wailing along) and, my personal favorite, her rendition of “Forever & Always” while wearing a sassy red dress and dark boots – a set piece that climaxes with her literally demolishing the set (throwing a chair, but it’s the same idea).

Other favorite moments for me included her stirring, piano-based performance of “What Goes Around,” a track from later in the “Fearless” CD I had all but ignored but now have new appreciation for given Taylor’s histrionic flair for it (slamming and squirming at the piano with particular drama). And I was knocked out by her particularly clever “Love Story” (as were her shrieking fans), a faithful homage to her own popular music video and yet another of those Swift songs that come across 10 times better (via its plaintive emotion and urgency) live.

Kellie Pickler was one scheduled opener who called in sick; nothing against the perky Pickler, but it didn’t really matter (the only possible fun would have been if she and Swift had teamed-up on stage for Pickler’s chipper “Best Days of Your Life,” which Taylor co-wrote). Opening act Gloriana was a pleasant diversion but not particularly memorable (I call them Littler Big Town, but I really like Little Big Town, so that’s where the comparison ends).

No, it all came down to the star of the show for me and – I suspect – most of the 13,999 others in attendance. They were as one with their heroine. And she didn’t let any of us down, with one of the most vibrant, energetic, masterful pure performances I’ve ever seen, perfectly in sync with her audience, their hopes, her dreams and our times. Strange to say. The 19-year-old kid had an epic night.

What does she do for an encore?

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ON THE DOT: Now back in business (with a modified rating system) the “John Youngren Dot Com” blog (once known as “Pop Stew”) should be updated regularly. And remember, as always, this is just an exhibition; it is not a competition – so please, no wagering. To contact John, e-mail johnyoungren@mac.com

Sunday, May 17, 2009

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NEW ‘STAR TREK’ MOVIE WINS OVER EVEN THE CYNICS – LIKE ME
“Star Trek”
•••• (out of four)

By JOHN YOUNGREN

Well, here’s the thing: I love “Star Trek.” As my mother pointed out tonight, it’s one of the “big three” in my life – “Star Trek,” The Beatles and the New York Yankees. Pretty well rounded, actually. Nerd, rock and sports. I’ll take it.

And I’ll take them.

So when everyone started talking about a new “Star Trek” movie a year or two ago, I was skeptical. That’s not to say I wasn’t interested. I admire J.J. Abrams – the director and creative mind behind the new “Star Trek” movie – for his genius on “Felicity,” “Alias” and, of course, “Lost.” Some of my favorite TV shows in the past 10 years, and all very different. He’s of my generation; a creative writer-director with a fan’s soul, and though he said he was never much of a “Star Trek” fan, he still seemed a perfect choice to lead to a reboot.

Still, I was wary – mainly because “Star Trek” (especially the original series and its movie sequels, and “The Next Generation”) were stories I always loved. I saw Zachary Quinto (the movie’s new Spock) and Chris Pine (new Kirk) do their interviews and appearances and I knew Leonard Nimoy was supposed to be in the new movie (playing “my,” or “prime” Spock) but I still doubted.

And I did all the way through its opening weekend, when “Star Trek” (J.J. didn’t add any shit to the title – no “VI” or “Origins” or “The New Beginning”) – opened to like $404 billion in business and suddenly (Quinto, who seems like kind of a prick, and Pine, who seems pretty cool) were appearing everywhere, including a bunch of magazine covers and “Saturday Night Live.”

And funny thing is? They were getting great reviews. From “Trekkies” and “Trekkers” alike. And most of all, from non-fans. People I work with who would have never thought of seeing an old “Star Trek” show or film were all over it. Suddenly, “Star Trek” is cool.

And I took notice.

And today I saw the fucking movie.

And tonight I give it four dots, as high as I can go. And I tell you (and I realize I’ve started the last six of seven sentences with “and,” but that’s my business) that this “Star Trek” movie was incredible. Infucking credible.

It plays with “Star Trek” themes like time travel and space exploration and cowboys in space. It has younger actors doing their best to embody the well-worn “Star Trek” characters we love and know so well; at times, it’s a little like “Muppet Babies,” or whatever. It’s all explained as an alternate timeline – meaning there’s a reason why the spaceship (I know – the Starship) Enterprise looks different, and people are dressed differently and Uhura is making out with Spock. (!) But that’s all OK. Once you go with it, you go with it – and the new movie has enough reflection of canon (all the Trekkies are ragging about canon; fuck you Trekkies) to make it all make sense.

Despite my misgivings, I grew to like Quinto as Spock, even though I’m not sure I like Quinto. Despite my misgivings, I loved Pine as Kirk – even though I was once one of the people who said I’d always choose Shatner’s Kirk even over Patrick Stewart’s Picard, so entranced was I by the original captain. But Pine sold me. I wasn’t even thinking about Shatner anymore by time the new movie’s Kirk ran into the old universe’s Spock, played by Nimoy (who is so much more central to the plot than his cameo-feeling appearance might have hinted at).

Whatever. I won’t do it all here. Suffice to say, young Kirk and Spock meet and do battle (and battle over the sexy Uhura, never hinted at in the original series but certainly acceptable in this altered reality as played by Zoe Saldana and I can’t figure out how to do the typographic thing she needs to do over the “e” in her first name) and come upon Captain Pike, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu, Dr. McCoy (brilliant Karl Urban) and others, familiar and not, all of whom make up the grand “Star Trek” tapestry. Kirk, the young hotdogger, is particularly illuminating. Quinto eventually sells Spock – especially in a late scene with Nimoy, who is vital to the movie’s logic, and the franchise’s future. And it’s all so well done with such an appreciative nod to the “Star Trek” past – and pedal down for the future – that you can’t help but get caught up in it.

I’m not spoilering when I say that at the end of the day the new crew of the Starship Enterprise (NCC-1701, not any of those letter suffixes that make things complicated in later versions) sails off for new and high adventures. I might spill it a bit when I say that it’s once again Nimoy’s voice that sells (for the first time since “Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan,” I believe) the preamble:

“Space. The final frontier.
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.
Its ongoing mission…
To seek out new lives, and new civilizations.
To boldly go where no one has gone before.”

And then, in the movie, for the first noticeable time, as the final credits played, so did the “Star Trek” theme.

I have to say, I shed a tear or two.

God bless you, J.J. And God bless you, “Star Trek” fans. Now we reboot.

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ON THE DOT: Now back in business (with a modified rating system) the “John Youngren Dot Com” blog (once known as “Pop Stew”) should be updated regularly. And remember, as always, this is just an exhibition; it is not a competition – so please, no wagering. To contact John, e-mail johnyoungren@mac.com

Friday, February 13, 2009

INSPIRED BY FACEBOOK: 25 NEW (MOSTLY) TRUE THINGS ABOUT ME…

INSTRUCTIONS
I’m not publicizing this list, just having fun with it.

Inspired by the ongoing Facebook craze, it’s a note with 25 random thoughts, facts, habits, or goals about me. Of late.


1. I think Jay Leno is going to get his ass kicked when his new primetime bullshit show begins this fall.

2. When in doubt, get me some Eliza Dushku. Twice. Yes.

3. The ticket for 2012: President Barack Obama and Vice President John Youngren!

4. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!

5. If you worked for Bruce Springsteen, would you call him “The Boss?”

6. I love the ladies in high heels or boots.

7. I’ve yet to start writing my novel.

8. If I had any true musical talent, I could have been one helluva songwriter. Or, maybe, Bernie Taupin.

9. If I could be one current TV character, it’d be Jack Bauer from “24.” "With all due respect, Madam President ... ask around."

10. Who says you can’t go home?

11. I think Alex Rodriquez is the worst kind of phony poser. Fuck him.

12. I didn’t ever think Paul was dead.

13. I’m thinking, “OK, we can live without peanut butter for a while.”

14. I actually think Toby Keith was a decent actor in his recent movie, “Beer for My Horses.”

15. I never liked Valentine’s Day, even when I had a Valentine.

16. Favorite current TV shows? “Friday Night Lights,” “24,” “Lost,” “House” and “The Office.” Sort of still “ER.” (Yeah?) And “30 Rock.”

17. I’m so tired, I cannot get to sleep.

18. I’ve been eating too many Red Rock pizzas. But that’s me.

19. I actually like the Tim McGraw cologne. I bought a new bottle tonight.

20. I think David Letterman is more influential than ever when it comes to current culture. But then, I’ve always been a “Dave” guy (see No. 1).

21. I maybe have never been in love.

22. Earned media sucks.

23. I think Jessica Simpson looks great.

24. I think Brett Favre should still keep playing.

25. Conan will do OK.

# # #


ON THE DOT: Now back in business (with a modified rating system) the “John Youngren Dot Com” blog (once known as “Pop Stew”) should be updated regularly. And remember, as always, this is just an exhibition; it is not a competition – so please, no wagering. To contact John, e-mail johnyoungren@mac.com

Friday, February 06, 2009

A FACEBOOK PARODY: 25 RANDOM (UNTRUE) THINGS ABOUT ME…

INSTRUCTIONS

I am doing this because – I thought it would be amusing.

Here are the rules I received: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. (And I do these tag things reluctantly; this one just seemed like fun.)

Here's how to do this: Go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

1. I once shot a man to death in cold blood. After he was dead, I drank his blood. (I guess this counts as two, really.)

2. If biscuits and gravy are on the menu, then sign me up!

3. I have six toes – on my left hand.

4. My favorite fictional character is Peter Pan. After that, Lucy Ricardo. And then, Sulu, for whatever reason.

5. Cameron Diaz can have my cell phone number any day of the week. After that, Camryn Manheim (look it up).

6. I often wonder how things would have worked out if my primary campaign for President of the United States hadn’t gone so poorly in 2004.

7. If I could choose one super power? I guess I’d pick the ability to swim really, really well.

8. If Vicki Lawrence’s “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia” is playing on the jukebox, then watch me scoot to the dance floor!

9. I always dreamed of being bald. And then it came true.

10. When I’m brushing my teeth, I’ll often look at myself in the mirror. It's just my way.

11. I actually liked “Cheers” better in the Kirstie Alley years.

12. My dream career? Bill (or debt) collector. I love harassing interesting new people by telephone.

13. Puppy or monkey? Monkey, for me.

14. My first real girlfriend was a paid prostitute. (Thanks, Dad.)

15. I can’t tie a tie. (I mean it, outside of this parody.)

16. I hate the taste of ice.

17. Strangely enough, I can’t follow the American system of measurements, but I’ve embraced that kilometers and celsius bullshit.

18. People often tell me I look like former vice president Dick Cheney, whose portrait I have above my bed.

19. I never repeat when I shampoo, and laugh about it to myself every morning.

20. I make my own ketchup.

21. I once found $3 in cash on the floor in an Albertsons. I was going through the checkout line. A girl behind me in line was suddenly searching for her lost cash. I didn’t say anything and spent her money on nicotine and beer.

22. I am truly afraid of my own shadow. Because it's spooky.

23. I wish either my first or last name was Dennis.

24. I think men should still wear powdered wigs.

25. I once got so mad at myself I didn’t talk to myself for nearly three weeks.

And a bonus...

26. My best opening line to a woman? "How much do you weigh?"

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ON THE DOT: Now back in business (with a modified rating system) the “John Youngren Dot Com” blog (once known as “Pop Stew”) should be updated regularly. And remember, as always, this is just an exhibition; it is not a competition – so please, no wagering. To contact John, e-mail johnyoungren@mac.com